I’m really having to do a lot of apologies these days, I wonder if Gaddafi might skip the apology and just sod off?

Well, I have had to make a lot of apologies recently and I would like to take this moment to apologize, again, to those concerned. I am fairly sure you know who you are. Although you may be wondering that I am about to rant about what a terrible time I have been having recently, I feel it is more important to focus on events in the middle-east. As you all probably know by now, there is general unrest in the north Africa / middle-east region, and it’s not looking good for all you car drivers out there, simply because it means that we can’t get oil from the middle east anymore as it is too expensive and we will now soon have to start looking at Indian Curry reserves as a meaningful supply of oil for our petrol supplies.

I see the problem, as a result of the ridiculous oppressive, power hungry regimes, the fact that the world can now be accessed by the internet and therefore these oppressed people are looking, in disgust, that things like pornography (or dodgy videos for those of you who may be offended), gambling and disastrously stupid blogs, like this one, are legal. Those people are now realising that they can actually express themselves and not feel scared of being brutally beaten for doing so. I'm sure all you devoutly religious folk out there are bemoaning the fact that the modern day human being is far from the typical person religion illustrates, I certainly do feel a slight disappointment that religious belief has been superseded by popular culture, but that is how the world is moving. Man's search for answers and the path to happiness has gone from religion to a form of 'trial and error' where all paths are tried until the right one is found.

The current plight in Libya is incredibly disturbing. A man with a shocking hairstyle has lots of money, doesn’t want to share it and has shot anyone who asks: “Please Sir, can I have some more?” Ring any bells? Tons of money is coming into the nation but there is no fun for the people because the leaders there are oppressing the population and not spending the money on them. Just like the fat man, who didn’t give Oliver Twist more food and then sold him. So let's look at what are realistic solutions in a country where the people want happiness and the Colonel won't give any.

It has to be said, that Gaddafi person, is rarely seen smiling. I think, you may agree with me, that he is a miserable bastard. A few Botox injections may not get a smile out of that face. I really can't be bothered to psychoanalyse a man as horrid as he is and quite frankly, even I know this, leading a nation is a big popularity contest. There is no contest in Libya and Gaddafi leading Libya is much like Simon Cowell turning up to the next series of 'Britain's Got Talent' and saying, none of you can sing or perform and I will perform to the Queen at the Royal Variety show every year from now. It just won't work. No-one will watch the 'Britain's got talent' show again because it'll just be Cowell singing a song and he'll get to sing to the Queen every year. It's a ridiculous scenario. Gordon Brown, also known as ‘Mr. Unpopular due to his inability to smile’, was voted out by the nation despite being hailed as a super-hero by all other world nations because he saved us from financial disaster.

Gaddafi has given the nation little political choice, he hasn't used the massive surplus enjoyed by Libya to make him more popular and he has bad hair. Surely, if there was a general election he would've gone a long time ago. He isn't the Queen, who is unelected and born into her job of leading a nation, yet she is popular because she knows she not the best at leading her country and leaves that to someone else while she goes around looking 'cool' and regal. Problem is, Gaddafi doesn't want to go so how can he make himself Mr. Popular?

(Gaddafi lacks the "cool" aura that makes the Queen so popular and ... a good haircut.)

Well he could let someone else run the country making the people happy, while he carries on as Colonel, gets a haircut and looks 'cool' and regal while earning a part of the profits his country makes. Mind you, he has to not be involved in government and that seems to be kind of hard for him. So, we can rule out him taking some sort of 'monarchy' / figurehead position.

If you ask me, he should just be a little less stingy and give everyone in his nation lots of money and share his ridiculous wealth. Let the population and Jawad (my good friend), watch their dodgy videos in peace and, above all, let them write a blog like this and not fear death by execution because they happen to mention that 'Gaddafi needs a haircut'.

Unfortunately, we know these are all unrealistic for Gaddafi so what should he just do? Get a haircut, apologise to the people and Janu (because I'm sick of having to apologise to her myself), admit to us, that you he is a cock and then, sod off.

Goodbye Colonel GadDAFI, maybe you can make a living by starting a fried chicken franchise because Daffy Duck will do a better job at being a proper leader.

Raven.

Dedicated to those who have lost their lives in the fight for democracy in Libya and throughout the world.

Protests in Egypt? - Blame Santa.

Well Christmas has become quite tedious these days hasn't it? All we ever hear about it is that the pope is doing some sort of midnight weigh-in ready for boxing day, groups of tone deaf singers do their annual door to door busk and Turkey has been eaten. I'm getting on a bit now and to this day I just don't understand how anyone can eat a country? I just think it's probably America’s new innovative weapon they discovered a few weeks back or something.

That play, where that baby is born? The nativity scene, it really is wrong. I mean, first of all, a play about a baby being born should be called maternity play? And WHY hasn't anyone realised its virgin Atlantic not Virgin Mary! Disaster.

I know I know, I sound a bit of a scrooge but, I do like the idea of presents. Receiving them anyway, hate giving.

As you may have realised from my lack blogging and this disastrously late publishing of the Christmas blog, is that all is not well in the world of Raven. Yes, that's right I have succumbed to the dreaded 'writer's block'. My doctor tries to reassure me that the world is boring and there is nothing to talk about. I didn't buy his argument and blamed NHS cuts for his inability to write me out a prescription. Mind you, it has been over a year since I last published and much has happened since.

Much like Christmas, the television has got gradually worse, it took BOTH the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives to remove the great Scot from number 10 and Prince Clegg of Lib Demistan has broken his promises. The student protests were a laugh it has to be said. Not sure how throwing a fire extinguisher off the top of conservative HQ into a crowd of, what can only be described as, other students, acts as a deterrent to the government in increasing fees.

Talking of protests, interesting week unfolding in Egypt. Just saw some protest footage on the news and downtown Cairo looks like someone has bombed lidl on a Friday night (when the youths from the local council estate go out to buy cheap booze). Mind you, for all I know, the protest is probably about the state of Lidl’s suspicious looking “Christmas Turkeys” with tinsel and mistletoe growing out of them.

The protests there seem to synchronise with the majority of the peoples' thinking in the Middle East. I wouldn't be surprised if other countries from the Middle East, like England for example, follow suit. Chairman Obama is hoping for a quick resolution but power hungry leaders will do anything to hold onto power for as long as possible. But why is there so much unrest in the sacred land of the pharaohs and the holy lands of the Middle East? A, now formerly, reliable source told me that the economy is taking its toll on capitalism and people want something done so they can lead better lives. I reassured this 'source' that if capitalism was in trouble, Microsoft will release an 'emergency update' to its Microsoft Word spell check software. It's no biggy surely? Maybe Microsoft has been slow to release an update and the protests are asking for Bill Gates to return to the helm of Microsoft?

It really makes you wonder what is actually going wrong (or right, if you want to save time) with the world then? Are they missing a certain Scottish prime minister? Is the world disappointed at the UK university fee rises? Could Bill Gates' decision to reduce his Microsoft activities in favour of more charity be the cause? Or maybe it's the fact British airports can't stay open in any weather other than bright sunshine?

The answer to all is a resounding, no. They just haven't been given their Christmas presents.

Raven.